What did I do?
by monkey-in-a-tree
Summary: John can be so clueless sometimes...will he realise his mistake before it's too late? *SPARKY* Following the events of 'Sanctuary' in season 1 - holds mild spoilers to this episode.


**Ok, so my brother insisted on watching 'Sanctuary' which I'm sure all you other Sparky fans agree is a painful episode to sit through! So, to vent my frustrations I decided to write this...enjoy! **

**Spoilers: 'Sanctuary' (damn that episode!)**

'Hey'

Elizabeth looked up to see John entering her office, one of his charmingly bright smiles plastered on his face.

'What'cha reading?' he asked as he sat down across from her.

'Mission reports' she replied in an even tone.

She went back to her work, missing the disappointment flash across his face.

'Which mission?' he asked after a minute of awkward silence.

'Your last one' she replied without even looking up at him.

Sighing he decided to just cut to the chase.

'OK, you've been pissed off with me ever since we found out Chaya was an Ancient, which by the way I swear I didn't know...couldn't have possibly known!' he corrected.

He paused, noticing her head snapped up when he'd mentioned Chaya.

_Yeah, only because you were too preoccupied with trying to get in her pants _she thought, debating whether to mention that out loud or not.

In the end she decided against it, knowing she actually had no professional reason for being angry at him like this; he could have been more cautious yes, but he was only human and was allowed to make mistakes. There really was no way he could have realised she was an Ancient.

John noticed she'd stopped reading, probably too focused on whatever the hell was going through her mind.

'Lizabeth-'

'Look Major, I'm busy right now so unless you have an urgent matter you wish to discuss then please, leave.'

To say John was shocked with her sudden change in demeanour was an understatement. For one, she had referred to him by rank and most shockingly, she had just kicked him out; something she only did when he really pissed her off.

_I don't get what I did wrong! _he internally whined.

Sighing, he decided not to piss her off further and began to walk to the door. He turned around as he was about to walk out, noticing that once again, she had stopped working and was now focusing on his vacated seat.

'Look Lizabeth, whatever I did I'm sorry'

She said nothing so he continued.

'I've obviously hurt you or offended you and for that I am truly sorry...I'd never intentionally hut you' he added as an afterthought.

He was surprised when she let out a strangled laughed then stared at him.

_Shit_ was the first thought that came to mind as her eyes bore into his.

_Man if looks could kill..._

'John. Are you really that blind?' she asked after a moment, once again surprising him with the hurt that laced her voice.

'What-'

'If you can't see what you've done then I can't help you!' she interrupted.

John stared at her in disbelief.

_She never acts like this, never loses control like this._

He was about to question her but was promptly cut short.

'You are dismissed Major'

John continued to stare at her, trying to work out what to do. After a moment his stubborn streak decided to kick in.

'No.' She stared at him, eyes filled with obvious anger at his defiance.

'I won't leave until you tell me what the hell I did to make you act like this!'

He regretted the words as soon as they fell from his mouth.

Elizabeth stood up and walked towards him, stopping well into his personal space.

John shouldn't have been as intimidated as he was but hell to say he was scared was an enormous understatement.

'Move' she said after a while.

'No' he replied, although inside he was kicking and screaming for his body to move.

'Major, move!' she said with more force.

He just stared at her, a defiant and probably scared shitless look on his face.

'What have I done Lizabeth?' he asked quietly.

She closed her eyes to prevent the fall of some oncoming tears.

He noticed this and went to reach out to her but stopped as she shook her head then shortly barged past him, head bowed down as she practically ran from the Control Room.

John started to go after her but was stopped by Rodney.

'Sheppard, I wouldn't do that if I were you' he said shaking his head.

'But-'

'John.' Interrupted a nearby Teyla. 'Do not follow her. Elizabeth needs her time.'

He looked back to Rodney who had an extreme look of disapproval across his face.

'...what!' John demanded as he looked around the room, for pretty much everyone was giving him the same look.

Rodney let out an exasperated sigh and turned back to his work.

As John looked around he realised everyone was shaking their heads at him, some muttering various comments a few of which he caught as he exited the control room.

'He really is a clueless Kirk' he heard from Rodney.

'Nothing is ever serious with him' he noted from someone else.

'He doesn't deserve her' came another voice.

However, it was the last comment he heard that made him freeze.

'I guess he fooled us all into thinking he had feelings for her'

He shook his head and continued walking, trying hard to piece everything together.

_I do have feelings for her, just I can't show the-_

He once again seized walking as realisation finally dawned on him.

_Fuck. Chaya, Elizabeth- angry, crying, Kirk...Holy Fuck she has feelings for me to!_

John turned and ran towards Elizabeth's quarters, cursing himself the entire way for being such a blind idiot.

Finally he arrived at his destination, breathing heavily from the sudden sprint he just put himself through.

He knocked on her door and waited anxiously for her to answer, still trying to control his rapid breathing.

'Who's there?' she eventually called.

John's heart fell as he heard her tired and slightly muffled voice.

'Lizabeth...it's me. Please let me in. I know what I did wrong, please, we need to talk!'

Silence followed.

'Lizabeth?'

'Go away John!'

He leant his head against the door, finally seeing the hurt beneath the anger. He silently prayed for her to let him in so he could just make it all go away.

'Elizabeth, please?'

No answer followed.

John sighed and tried to think of his options.

_I could let myself in but I'm sure it'd be the last thing I'd ever do. Or..._

He stopped as he realised he had no idea what he actually planned on saying to her. But in the end he decided he didn't care; for once he was going to speak what he felt.

'I'm not leaving Lizabeth. I'm gonna stay right outside your door until you let me in...please?' he added afterwards.

'Give up John, just go' was her weak and tired reply.

John sighed and discontinued leaning against her door.

_OK then, wait I will._

And with that he sat down outside her door, not caring about the odd looks he was receiving from passing personnel.

_I'll wait as long as you make me wait...you're worth it._

_xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx_

Elizabeth brought her face out from under her pillow and made her way to the bathroom.

She groaned as she looked in the mirror; her eyes were red and it was obvious she had been crying.

_Great _she thought. _Just what I need._

She turned on the tap and washed her face, soothing her sore eyes with the warm water. Afterwards she applied what make-up she could to cover the rest of her fatigue etched features.

When she was finally satisfied with her appearance she slipped her leader mask firmly in place and made her way out the door. Only she didn't get far.

'Ow!' she yelped as she tripped and landed on the floor. Turning around to see what the cause of her fall was, she gasped.

'John...' she trailed off as she realised he was asleep.

_He stayed _she couldn't help but feel somewhat happy about the prospect.

'John' she said as she gently shook him awake.

'Mmmm?' he mumbled.

She couldn't help but smile at how childish and innocent he looked without his usual worry lines, not to mention his hair was adorably messier.

'John, how long have you been here?' she asked.

He opened his eyes and smiled as he took in her face. However, his smile quickly vanished as he remembered their last encounter.

'Lizabeth I'm-'

'John' she stopped him. 'How long have you been here?'

'Urm, since I told you I'd stay. Which was...?'

Elizabeth raised her eyebrow at his answer. 'John, that was more than two hours ago.'

He just stared at her, trying to figure out why she seemed so surprised he stayed.

'I said I'd wait, so I did' he shrugged eventually.

She looked at the ground as she tried to hide the new tears that were forming at his words. He reached out to her and this time she didn't refuse.

He tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear and then lifted her chin up with his fingers.

_She's been crying_ he immediately noted.

He sighed and got up, gently pulling her with him so he could lead her back inside her quarters.

He led her towards the bed and eased her down, grabbing a nearby chair so he could face her.

'Lizabeth'

'No John. I can't...'

'Can't what? he countered.

She shook her head in response, a tear sliding slowly down her cheek. He quickly wiped it away with his thumb before pulling her into a hug.

'John please don't-'

'Lizabeth listen to me please?' he waited for her to nod before continuing.

'I'm sorry. I am so sorry' he paused, wondering if he could really say this. A barely restrained sob from her told him he could.

'Look, I won't blame Chaya' he felt her tense as he said her name. 'She fell for me and yes, I did fall for her.'

She tried to pull away from him but he held her tighter.

'Lizabeth I've never been great with words, you of all people should know that. You're my friend, my best friend.' At this she seized her struggling.

'I-I didn't want to lose that so I buried my feelings for you. They were buried, but they were still there. Me and Chaya...I guess I was trying to move on, move away from you.'

He paused and wandered what else he could say. He was uncomfortable enough at the moment and the feel of her in his arms with the smell of her soft hair were not helping him think straight.

'I guess- well I...urm..uh what I'm..trying to say is-'

Elizabeth laughed as she placed a finger to his lips, letting him know he could retreat from all the openness.

'John I...urm' it was his turn to laugh.

'You speechless? Never thought I'd see the day' he teased as he tucked her stray lock of hair behind her ear again. She sighed with content and closed her eyes as she leant slightly into his touch.

_God, she's beautiful _he thought and then realised; _I don't want to bury my feelings anymore._

'Lizabeth I need to say...something' she smiled again at his awkwardness with words.

'John, you don't have to say anything you know. I should be apologising, I had no right to treat you like that. You're your own man; you can do what you—'

'Elizabeth I love you' he blurted.

She stopped, trying to work out if she had heard correctly. She made to say something but closed her mouth realising she didn't know what to say.

John smiled once again at her speechlessness. He stared into her bright green eyes, taking in every emotion he could see in them and treasuring it.

Slowly he leaned forward, an invisible force pulling their lips together. He stopped just before he reached her lips so she could push him away if she chose. Instead she leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between them, seeking out his lips with hers. She moaned as his tongue ran across her bottom lip, begging her for entrance which she gladly granted.

They continue to kiss, slowly and passionately. Her hands were resting on his shoulders whilst his were supporting her neck, bringing her closer towards him.

They broke apart for some much needed air, stopping briefly to smile at each other. John licked his lips subconsciously; an action that made Elizabeth's eyes darken further with desire. He felt his body immediately react to her piercing gaze.

Simultaneously they leaned in, the next kiss more needy than the first. Her hands made his way down to his shirt and began to tug it off over his head. As soon as the shirt was off their lips met once again.

He moved them so they were both lying on the bed, his body over hers whilst using his elbows as support.

Her hands were moving across his back as he kissed her neck, stopping to suck at a particular sensitive spot she liked.

He groaned as she arched into him, feeling the friction of their clothes as she moved against his body.

'You, less clothes' he growled as he made his way back to her lips.

More than willing to comply, she pulled her top up and with help from John, over her head. John froze; his pants suddenly became way too tight.

'Makes things easier doesn't it?' she smirked as she felt his erection grow against her thigh.

'God Lizabeth' he groaned. 'No bra? Do you always walk around without one?'

She smirked as she pulled him by his dog tags to lead him back into a kiss, both gasping at the new sensation of flesh against flesh.

He once again made his way down her body, gently biting and sucking every inch of her until he reached her breasts.

He paused to look up at her watching him. She gasped as she saw the intense need in his eyes.

Her gasps turned into moans of frustration as he licked every bit of her breasts except where she wanted him the most.

'God John' she pleaded.

She could feel him smirk against her skin.

_OK then, two can play at this game _she thought then raised her hips to meet his.

John groaned at the friction created by their clothes. It was then he realised they still had clothes to remove.

As if sensing his thought she moved her hands down his body, nails slowly sliding down his side so he squirmed at her touch.

She reached his waistband and began to undo his pants, pulling down his boxers as well, thankful that at some point their shoes had come off to make the whole thing so much easier.

When John had kicked off his pants he made to move over her again.

'I think you're wearing too much' he growled against her ear and immediately began to help her out of her pants.

When she was finally rid of her clothes, John just stared at her, taking in all her glorified nakedness.

'You're beautiful' he murmured as he moved back to her breasts, this time taking in her nipples and sucking them.

'John...' she moaned as her hands pulled gently on his hair, keeping him to her.

John's hands caressed her body. He trailed them slowly down her until he met his destination.

'God Liz-beth you're so wet' he moaned before initiating another heated kiss.

She arched into him as his fingers slid into her, slowly moving within her.

'God John, don't stop!' she panted as his fingers began to rub lovingly at a particularly sensual spot.

His thrusting grew steadily faster as he moved down to trail kisses along her body. He stopped when his tongue found the small bundle of nerves he'd been seeking.

'John!' she cried out, hips bucking upwards as he began to swirl his tongue around her, sucking her clit in just the right way.

'God John!' she continued to scream his name as she came. He pulled his fingers out and began to kiss his way back up her body, soothing her whilst she calmed her breathing.

When he reached her lips she smiled at him through half open eyes. They kissed passionately, slow like the first one. She could taste herself when his tongue sought hers, twirling playfully together.

As they kissed he shifted between her legs. Reflexively she opened them. They continued to kiss as he entered her, both moans being lost in each other's mouths.

When she began to move her hips against his he matched, finding a perfect rhythm to suit them.

He moved his kisses down to her breasts and took turns taking each one in his mouth which caused her to writhe and moan beneath him.

Her hands were roaming across his muscular back, nails gently digging in as she began to reach another climax.

Their rhythm became faster and erratic. Both were panting and staring into each other's eyes, conveying words and feelings to one another.

She closed her eyes as the climax grew closer, arching into him as much as she could; crying out a mixture of 'oh fuck!' and 'John!' as she came.

A few more thrusts after and he came within her, collapsing on top of her, welcoming her comforting arms that wrapped around him.

When they both recovered he rolled off of her, not having to wait long before she followed him and curled her body against his, her hand resting gently over his heart.

She looked up to catch him watching her.

'Hey' he said as he lightly kissed her nose.

'Hey' she smiled back.

'You're not going to regret this are you?' he asked, a hint of fear reflecting in his eyes.

She studied him for a minute and took in his apprehension. She responded with a kiss, one filled with overwhelming emotion.

She smiled as she looked into his eyes.

'That answer your question?'

'Mmmmm' he replied, to which she laughed.

She moved her head to rest on his chest, noting how his breathing was beginning to slow.

'John?' she whispered softly.

'Yeah?'

She smiled against his chest, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

'I love you too'

**First time writing something like this so reviews would be good to let me know how I've done :)**


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